Cheat Codes

"So where we headed tonight, sir?"

"Scanning..."

"Excuse me?"

"Scanning..."

"Sir?"

"48th & Glisan."

The man I've picked up at the bar around 67th and Glisan is pretty dodgy looking, and speaks with the clipped tones of an autistic. He also seems pretty drunk. As I begin driving west on Glisan I punch buttons on the MDT, telling it that I'll be dropping off soon.

"Let me put in the cheat codes," he says.

"Huh?"

"I can make it so we do an insane stunt bonus."

"No insane stunt bonuses in this car man, I lose points for that."

"How about flying? I know the code that can make us fly."

"I'm no good at the flying levels, and it's a short trip. Let's just drive."

"Scanning..."

This is by far the greatest Grand Theft Auto conversation I've ever had. The idea of entering a cheat code into my mobile data terminal and being able to suddenly fly or magically evade the police is delightful.

"Stop at the Plaid here."

I pull in so he can buy more beer, and then drive him home. "You should have let me enter the cheat codes," he says. He tips me anyway.