The Novemberist

I'd deleted this as part of a plan to delete everything that involved anyone but myself, but as more has been revealed, it turns out there are not multiple upset people, just one idiotic one. Unfortunately, the original comments are gone forever. This was initially posted on 11.18.6.


I drove around members of a fancy major label band tonight after they got in from tour. I have never heard their music, but had been aware of them vaguely as being one of many bands from this town that have a name along the lines of "The (plural noun)," and that get mentioned by people who listen to rock n' roll.

Crabbie does not listen to indie rock, and frankly finds the shit to be excrutiatingly boring. Excrutiatingly. There are not enough words for how boring he finds it. He will tell his grandchildren in an adopted old world accent - "The indie rock, it was a very bad thing. I was make listen to it as I walk to school eight miles in cold, and when I grew up to be man, the first thing did I do was to urinate all over it and curse the people who make it to go to the most boring of hells for all eternity."

I'd also heard of them because very cool people who've actually heard their music make fun of them.

But I did not ask them questions like

"When did rock n' roll bands switch from being 'The (adjective) (plural noun)' to just being 'The (plural noun)'?"


"How is it that you're in a fancy pants rock n' roll band and live in such a shitty house in a shitty neighborhood?"

or even

"Why do hipsters think you suck?"

I kind of got the vibe that asking the questions I was most interested in might have negatively effected my tip. So I drove them home, and they were perfectly nice guys and tipped adequately, and I maybe shouldn't have been listening to the best band in town and accidentally proclaimed them to be "the best fucking band in town, man!" when the drummer (or was he the guitarist?) enthusiastically asked who they were, as it seemed to bum him out, because I think he expected the answer to be "John Coltrane" and not people who live in the same city as him.

So anyway, there's a story for all you hipsters in the audience. I still haven't heard a Decemberists song and honestly couldn't give a shit what they do sound like, or how cool they are, will be, or were. They are kind of nice and they tip okay and they take way too much shit with them on tour, and those are the only things that matter. Oh, and one of them has a really neat bike that folds in half.

Oh, and I'm playing a show tonight (sat. 11/18) at 2334 E Burnside. Starts around 6pm, we'll be on toward the beginning.


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home